Ray + Mel Wedding
Two of my best friends got married on Saturday. I was honored to be a groomsman for the event, as well as an usher. I also got a total of 366 pictures from the event:

Bachelor Party 03 Jun 2004, 7pm-2:30am

Pre-Wedding Activities 04 Jun 2004, 6pm - 05 Jun 2004, 1:45pm

Wedding Proper 05 Jun 2004, 2:15-6pm

Reception 05 Jun 2004, 6:30pm - Midnight

But even the pictures could use some background and explanations.

I should start, I suppose, with how I know them. I met Ray my sophomore year, probably later than I should have; I may have seen him the year before, when he was a sophomore on 3S, but I had never talked to him. We hit it off pretty well from the beginning, especially as he gave me something to aspire to in everything I was interested in - school, being social, and just dealing with life. He eventually asked me to fill an empty spot in Ground South Quad, allen19... Over the years we've stayed close friends - not closest friends perhaps, not necessarily the confiding-in-each-other type, but the kind that just plain do everything together, and trust each other to keep life interesting. For good measure I consider him one my closest peers, as his job is similar to mine and just down the street...

Mel is a different story. I met her by pseudo-accident my junior year, when she was an incoming freshman; she was one of many passing girls that I instructed to sit and talk with me and the group I was with. (This was when I was really stretching my being-social legs). She took to me immediately, and we became fast friends. She eventually met Ray at a Babylon 5 viewing that I had set up in our room; her attentions then shifted towards him, but we remained incredibly close. Then one day in October, while sitting in bed with Ray, she looked over at me and said "Tim, I'm adopting you. You're my brother." And ever since then we've acted like it... We've fought and argued, we've fallen out and vowed not to speak to each other again... and we've always made our ways back to each other. I have never once thought that she might not be family.

I found out that the two of them were going to get married on New Year's Eve 2002-03, when we threw a party at our house. Mel had come to me in a slightly drunk state, telling me that she had bought a ring for Ray and virtually begging me to talk her out of it... I, of course, would do nothing of the sort - the two of them really were/are perfect for each other, as I'd known for years before. They had faced an early challenge when Ray graduated and moved away, but they stuck it through until he could find a job back around Urbana. Given that they'd been together ever since, and happy all the way, the very *idea* that they would never get married was ludicrious, no matter how often Mel protested that she'd never get married...

There was some confusion here and there. As I had been recently asked to be Caitte's bridesmaid in her wedding, and Mel had demanded that I be in her wedding, I naturally figured that I would get to do it again for my other sister. It took close to a year for this idea to be fully put to rest, and even then with a more than a twinge of disappointment; but as weddings are traditional events, it did make sense for me to end up on Ray's side instead. And it's not like I was any less his friend than hers...

The wedding was set to take place in Urbana on the 5th of June. Beforehand were the standard assortment of events: the bachelor party, the rehearsal and rehersal dinner, the arrivals of the families and other guests, and all the rest of it. I decided to take a couple of days off for it; after all, who knew what I was going to be expected to do? This was cut short due to work issues, but I still had the time to do the organization issues behind-the-scenes: helping to organize the guests, purchasing the group gifts, and the simple stuff like getting fitted for my tux.

Finally, things really got started on the Thursday night, with the bachelor party. It consisted of just four of us - me, John, Ray, and Darren. We went to Hooters for dinner, Jillians for pool and video games, and the Silver Bullet for strippers. Hooters was over-crowded and fairly boring, but it was food; Jillians was much better, even if Darren did crush me in pool and House of the Dead turned out to be a really dumb quarter-sink of a game. And I don't know how much I should say about the strip club in potentially mixed company except that a) I didn't know a dollar went that far, b) Hollywood has lied to me, and c) I don't like Rum & Coke. At least John, Ray's brother and best man, knew what to expect. But for the rest of us - well, we may not have known what to expect, but that's what bachelor parties are all about. Better this than skydiving...

Friday began with cleaning and organization, in preparation for our coming guests. I made my way over to the tux place by about 2pm, forgetting my wallet at home in the confusion; I had left it (and its many dollar bills) in my jacket the night before. My Dad came over with a credit card, and I had a photo ID, so all was well, but it was not an auspicious start... From there, Ray took me over to the hotel where the families were staying and I took off with the girls to have my nails done. This was not really as interesting as the time I did it at Caitte's wedding, largely because the staff were professionals and not dressed up in tasteless costumes; still, I enjoyed the bonding time, and was happy to discover that much of the music I listen to daily is actually popular in some circles. (Maybe "happy" isn't the right word - "annoyed"? Closer.) I helped Mel when she started to break down, and I kept things moving as best I could... Sure, the nail polish didn't last the day, but that's not my fault.

After the nails went over, we returned to the hotel so everyone could dress up for the rehearsal. Everyone, that is, except me - I hadn't had the ability to bring my dress-up clothes along with me on the bus. Instead I called ahead to Beth, and asked her to bring along my brand new tailored suit. Finally, an excuse to wear it! (Sure, it had only cost $50 - but that was on some massive sale. List was, what, $699? It really is nice.) We arrived late, after waiting for Mel's Dad (Mike) to finish dressing; but Beth had in fact brought the suit, so I ran into the bathroom to get it on. Sadly, the pants weren't there. So I came out of the bathroom just wearing the suitcoat, and looking like an idiot... in that kind of way that really doesn't bother me so much, or anybody that knows me really, but everyone does notice. *sigh* I tried. (The pants were discovered in the church later on, and I retrieved them the next day.) The rehearsal went fine - a bit more low-key than Caitte's perhaps, and more of a discussion than an actual run-through, but it got the ideas across. I got to talk to Sarah Scott for a bit (she was playing piano), and just generally laugh and play and still act as serious as the event required. And I got a whole lot of pictures as well, because it seemed like a good idea.

(Interlude: it would probably be a good idea to list off the various players in the wedding. Ignoring the actual couple:

• Erin Wolf-Chambers - an old friend of Ray's and now Mel's (iron) matron of honor, Mel was in her wedding back in November. She's a CS grad student, overly studious but capable of extreme wackiness when necessary. She's also very good at this wedding stuff.
• Charlote White - Mel's sister, and by proxy mine; she lives in Washington DC now, having just graduated a few months ago. Flightly in a fun way, she's always fun to play with. And she accepted me into her family early on.

• Jill Moloney - one of Mel's high school friends, I've only met her a few times but I was fond of her those times. A nice girl with a tendency towards over-education. She now lives in Ohio.

• Gen Long - Mel's roommate from last year, Gen was a fellow Civil Engineer and concrete canoe player. The two of them are quite close; I'm not close with her, but we are friends.

• Sarah Lowe - I call her Sarah #3, since we have so many Sarahs around; she's never griped that much about it. Another CE/Concrete Canoe person, she's kindof skirted our primary social group for a long time even as we've tried to encourage her to join more fully.

• John Reskusich - Ray's brother and best man. I've known him for quite a while, longer than I'd expect; he tends to visit a lot, and is fairly noticable when he does. He keeps my comic collection and other similar vices in perspective.

• Jacob Krimbel - another of my best friends, Jacob is one of the insanely quiet guys that you fear for it. I could rant about him forever, but I don't think it'd help you to understand him. Suffice to say that my parents both cried out "Jacob talked!?" when Beth discussed their talks when they met at the wedding...

• Ken Price - one of Ray's high school best friends. I don't know him well, but I've met him a few times. He likes comics and is friendly; that's enough for me.

• Henry Chen - another of Ray's high school best friends. I know him far less than Ken; all I really know is that he collects Optimus Prime toys, and livs in LA.

We now return you to your regular history.)

The rehearsal dinner took place at Biaggi's, where we had three tables and a private room to ourselves. The food was tasty, and included tiramisu; what more could I want? (Besides sitting at a better table; I was on the least populated one, by far.) I'm not really sure what there is to say about it; the standard numbers of toasts were given, some of which were amusing, and most of which were touching. I tried offering my own toast, which was the exception to the rule - "Mel adopted me as a brother years ago. I've always kindof thought of Ray as an older brother. So in this case...yay incest!". Darren shamed me by doing one immediately thereafter that got across most of the points that I wanted to make - but I still maintain that I did okay. After all, I had never really mentioned to Ray his near-brother status before. That's gotta be worth something. (*sigh* I suck sometimes.)

We returned home afterwards, and immediately went to bed (~10pm). This was of course early, but we needed to rest up... Jacob slept on the couch in the living room; Caitte and Randall arrived at about 1:30am, and I talked to them for a few minutes before returning to bed.

I woke early on Saturday, mostly because I can't really sleep in much anymore. I showered and dressed to go meet Ray for brunch at Aroma (we were going to go to Radio Maria, but it was closed); it was a good meal, serving its purpose of waking us up before the event, as well as further acquainting ourselves with each other (important, since the only two of us from the same town were Ken and Henry). After that ended, Jacob and I stopped by the comic store before returning home for another lunch at Lucky Star, the chinese place near our house where all those that had already made it into town were gathering (in part to meet Beth, my girlfriend; let the interrogations begin!). Jacob and I departed early and returned home to put on our tuxes (not that bad a process, but we were aided by the arrival of Rachel anyway; note that I again was quite happy with how I looked in the tux, and am again considering going out and buying one.) We made it to the chapel by 2:15pm, and the wedding pictures commenced at 2:30pm. I got to stick around for both sides, taking pictures the whole time...

As previously noted, I was an usher. This was a much simpler job than my past experiences, because seating was meant to be fairly chaotic; still, I enjoyed hanging my elbow to as many people as possible, because it's just plain *fun*. People came in from three different entrances, which made things interesting; really, my role was just to get to everyone and give them programs, and to hug anybody I hadn't seen in a few years. The ceremony itself commenced at 4:30pm (or thereabouts). I marched in first, with Sarah Lowe on my arm, followed by the other four couples and then the groom and bride. I could go through the details of this all day if I tried, but I'd rather summarize a few major points:

• The ceremony was very non-religious.

• There was one song, "Let It Be A Dance"; there were five readings, performed by various participants (including Jacob) as well as Darren.

• Most of the readings were either just stuff that Mel and Ray liked, or stuff that they had written.
• It was simple, blessedly so. (Yes, this means 'short'.)

• Their vows were interesting, emphasizing friendship and companionship over eternal love. I liked it that way.

After walking out with our partners, Jacob and I returned to the chapel to perform further ushing duties. We missed much of the receiving line as a result; but on the other hand, we got to see everyone that was there. I hugged both Ray and Mel tightly when we finally got there; then I picked up my camera again and returned to taking pictures. Ray and Mel left the church to the bombardment of thousands of soap bubbles; they then hopped into a stretch VW Beetle limo and drove away. Such cool car! The crowds proceeded to disperse, to meet later at the reception.

(Also of note: during the receiving line, the minister walked up to Smoot and Tunji and asked them how they liked it. They both replied "it was very nice", or something like that; but then Tunji proceeded to ask "so, do you come to this church often?". Many consider this aside to be one of the funniest things in the world. I love my friends.)

After about another half hour of pictures with both Ray and Mel, Jacob and I took off for the Regent, where the reception was being held. After getting mildly lost (we didn't have any idea where it was; you can't really blame us!), we arrived well in time to sign the book and start organizing things... As before, I don't really know what to say about the reception as a whole. I sat at the wedding party table, and didn't talk that much because I was at the end; the vegetables were good, the meat much less so. We didn't get any chex mix at our table because somebody was mean. I probably knew at least half the room. I danced a lot. I caught the garter. And I just plain talked with everyone I knew, because I missed them all... It ended at about midnight, an hour later than it should have because a few of us threw a few extra bucks at the DJ to stick around; all-in-all, it was a good one.

Extra points that don't really fit in anywhere:

• My main gift for the couple was Cities & Knights of Catan. We play the main game far too much, it was on their list... Beth got Mel a nice sarong. She'll appreciate it.

• My other gift was organizing the purchase of a Roomba. About 20 of us chipped in between $10 and $50 to buy the vacuum robot, on behalf of our old college group, allen19. We'll see how much they like it. With the extra money we got I also purchased for them a camping blender (compactable, hand-cranked, with a vice grip to attach it to anything - a cool item!), plus whatever cash we had left over went straight to them. Our card was a birthday card with Data on it, with the message inside saying "Nothing says 'I love you!' like the gift of a robot." I think they'll like it.

I had brunch with some of my friends the next day, really at Radio Maria by this time; of course, now there were no Ray and Mel to join us, since they were already on their way to Maui for their honeymoon. If it ever hit me that they were gone, it was then. But they'll come back... and they'll go back to being the wacky friends that they always have been. Especially now that they don't have a stressful wedding hanging over their heads...

Closing thoughts: I'm not sure that it's ever really going to change anything in my mind to know that Ray and Mel are married. They may as well have been married for years before.... But it was certainly a hell of a party, and I'm happy as anything for them both. My highest blessings go with you, Ray and Mel.

Oh, and if anybody else puts up pictures of the wedding, let me know, I want to link them up on my page.